5 parenting goals I made for myself this year
Phone jail. I got mine from Amazon. For an hour a day, twice a day, in it goes! I’m surprised how long my kids think an hour is + how fast it really feels to me. To be fair, I have an Apple watch for phone calls since you really cannot get your phone out of jail even for emergencies. My hope is that it being without it becomes and feels normal. Then I won’t have to physically lock it up but ya know right now it is what it is. Desperate times.
Getting outside once a day. Even if it’s just a two minute walk to the mailbox. Rain or shine. Kids do not care about the weather but they do love to get rain jackets on and jump in puddles. I want them to remember our days like that. A spontaneous run to the mailbox. In the pouring rain, boots on, taking turns, two foot jumps. A mom who does not mind to wash the dirty clothes.
Responding instead of reacting. If Kennedy spills her drink, my first reaction is “Kennedy you have to be more careful!” When I spill my drink, Kennedy says “It’s okay, mom! Mistakes happen!” Does this action have a consequence in the real world? Would my child extend me grace if I did what they just did? Usually the answer to those two questions helps me take my own inconvenience out of the situation + remember that they are just humans, too. Little ones. Who deserve to makes mistakes, too. And someday, they’re going to go into the world. When that time comes, I want them to respond instead of react. So I have to, too.
Validating emotions. Following every expression of emotion with “It’s okay to feel ___” FIRST. Validation.Then condemning the bad behavior. “It’s okay to feel frustrated, that’s totally normal. It’s not okay to throw our toys.” Following up with an offer of what IS an acceptable way to express that emotion. “But we can rip up some paper to get our frustration out.” I want to make sure I’m letting my kids feel every emotion + teaching the proper way to express them, especially the ones that feel really big.
Saying yes. To non-material item requests. My automatic response to most invitations to play is no. But it’s never said like that, ya know? It’s like “I have a lot of laundry to fold, can we play later?” and distracting the baby with a toy so I can sneak onto my computer. I want them to know me as the mom that has fun. Gets in the pool, takes the detour. Not the one who makes excuses to do the things that will never matter. Who cares if the laundry is folded? My job is them. Nothing else matters right now. I’ll never regret saying yes but I know I’ll regret saying no.
